You can make your relationship last forever, and in this post, I will show you how to make love stay forever.
“I change, but I cannot die.”
“Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.”
“Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favour.”
Robert L. Frost: “The Black Cottage”
“There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in travelling in a stage-coach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place.”
Irving: Tales of a traveler. “To The Reader”(Get The Book)
“Changez vos amis.”
C. Andre Joseph Marie de Gaulle
“it is probably true to say that the largest scope for change still lies in men’s attitude to women, and in women’s attitude to themselve’s;”
Vera Britain: “Lady into woman” Ch.15(Get The Book)
Just as the natural world and substances change so the content of spirit change, Just as heat, cold etc.. change water into the solid and gas states, so the love, even deep love, can change; it evaporates, or becomes rigid or petrifies.
Love starts with the whole constitution of a lover’s attention fixated on the attractive and endearing aspects of the beloved.
These aspects trickle into the nerves and the imagination of the lover flowering into sweet dreams and a feeling of awe tinged with a light and sweet sadness.
“Jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water;
Jack Jill down and broke his crown,
And Jill come tumbling after.”
“Mother Goose’s melody”(Get The Book)
Pussy cat, Pussy cat, where have you been?
I’ve been to London to look at the queen.
Pussy cat, Pussy cat, what did you there?
I frightened a little mouse under her chair.
“Songs for the Nursery”(Watch Full Song)
With the innocent gaiety of youth, the lovers live in an idyllic atmosphere, experience having not yet jumped into the scene.
Then the love. Shared and entrusted to both lover’s hearts matures and ripens:
“Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory;
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.
Rose leaves, when the rose is dead.
Are heap’d for the beloved’s bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.”
Then time, the foe of beauty in everything send his servant experience which like a merchant knows nothing is perfect in creation begins to open the eyes of one of the lovers to a before not at all noticed defects of the other, or a tragic mistake that shows some ghastly trait which before was hidden under the mantle of sheer beauty.
“Grief and dis appointment give rise to anger, anger to envy, envy to malice, and malice to grief a gain, till the whole circle be completed “
David Hume: “A treatise of human nature”(Get The Book)
The heat of experience causes this ethereal substance to evaporate.
And the cold of anger makes it rigid: lost is that lightness, suppleness, and instead, one of the lovers begins to fixate on the other defects of the lover whether it was a bodiy or a mental observation or both.
But there is an Arabic poem which goes:
“نقل فؤادك ما شئت من الهوي
ما الحب إلا للحبيب الاول”
“let your heart roam the land scape of love
But true love remains for the first beloved”
And another love feels like a compensation for something incomparable.
Hopefully, hatred progresses with the same trajectory, and it may be the subject of our next essay.